Growing up Subban: Meet the matriarch of one of hockey's first families

By now, you may have seen the video, which went viral courtesy of NBCs NHL Twitter account. The 45-second clip shows Maria Subban dialed in while watching son P.K. Subban during a recent game. With each zone entry and scoring chance, Maria is transfixed, grimacing, shaking her head, and guffawing with such zeal that the

By now, you may have seen the video, which went viral courtesy of NBC’s NHL Twitter account. The 45-second clip shows Maria Subban dialed in while watching son P.K. Subban during a recent game.

With each zone entry and scoring chance, Maria is transfixed, grimacing, shaking her head, and guffawing with such zeal that the video is spliced with the now-famous clip of Olympic gymnast Aly Raisman’s mom watching her uneven bar routine at the 2012 London Olympic Games.

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In less than a minute, Maria urges on P.K. (“Take him right there, buddy!”), chirping opponents (“Too bad, Johnny!”), and vehemently arguing with a call, turning to her husband for backup (“That’s out! It’s out! Wasn’t that out?”).  The clip culminates with one particularly humorous barb:

“Get it, Number 38. What are you waiting for? Christmas?!”

.@PKSubban1's mom is GOALS 💯 ❤️

A new episode of The P.K. Project drops this Wednesday. Watch more episodes here → https://t.co/j1f4u42xgu pic.twitter.com/LH6rCzNgE8

— NBC Sports Hockey (@NBCSportsHockey) January 28, 2019

It is a rare glimpse into the woman behind one of the NHL’s biggest stars — one who is known for his joyful demeanor, philanthropic efforts, and captivating playing style. So perhaps it shouldn’t be a huge surprise that the 29-year-old defenseman’s mom has a personality to match.

“Of course I get a little wacky,” Maria said in a recent interview with The Athletic. “I’m just a happy mom.”

And if anyone thinks that was Maria putting on a show for the cameras, P.K. is quick to dispel any such notion: “Anyone that thinks that was a fabrication should go check every single one of my (childhood) hockey tapes,” Subban said in a telephone conversation this week.

While Subban’s ascent to fame within the NHL is well documented, less is known about his mother, Maria. Many articles describing Subban’s upbringing focus on the efforts of his father, Karl, who even wrote a book called “How We Did It: The Subban Plan for Success in Hockey, School and Life,” but few go into detail about Maria’s influence on Subban and his four siblings.

Subban’s two brothers are also rising professional hockey players; Malcom, 25, is a goaltender for the Vegas Golden Knights; Jordan is a 23-year-old defenseman who plays for the AHL’s Toronto Marlies. Subban’s two sisters — Natassia a former basketball standout and Natasha, who was gifted in the arts — are educators. Maria’s influence on each child was a pivotal one, even if she has received little by way of accolades.

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“She’s the backbone of our family,” P.K. said. “I don’t think any of us would have the type of success we’ve had in life — not just professionally, but in life —  without our mom. Everyone talks about our dad, but ask anyone in our family and mom is the backbone for what she does every day. She’s a mother but she’s also your best friend.”

So who is the woman behind it all?

Maria Subban immigrated to Canada in 1970 at age 11 from Montserrat, a tiny Caribbean island (11 miles long, 7 miles wide) of approximately 5,000 residents that is part of the Lesser Antilles chain in the West Indies. She came over with her siblings after both of her parents passed away and found Canada to be a stark change from her native country.

“It was so very hard. It was tough to make adjustments, having friends,” Maria said. “Coming to a strange place that was strange and cold — Oh my God. Trust me, after time, I adjusted. (Back home in Montserrat), I had no parents to go back to.”

Just as she clung close to her own siblings during that transition, she has encouraged her children to do the same. Above all else, she’d stress, stick together.

Maria ran a household that may have been short on serenity but was abundant with love. The Subban home was a bustling one, with five kids and two working parents; Karl was a school principal and Maria worked in a bank. Discipline was key for Maria, who served four years in the army in the Royal Regiment of Canada; she was a corporal by the time she left her service.

The house was bursting with activity and full of what Maria described as “very happy kids.” Natasha, the second oldest, said there was always a game of mini-sticks taking place in the hallway and that a house guest would’ve had trouble hearing over the racket — she and P.K., who were natural rivals and also extremely close, were constantly fighting over the television (“P.K. was always an annoying brother, so we’d be going at it,” Natasha joked).

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Jordan was the baby of the family, and, according to Natasha, Maria’s “favorite.” He was also the one with the shortest fuse, which prompted his older siblings to provoke him. There was a lot of good-natured rough-housing and a constant cacophony of activity.

Jordan Subban, mom’s favorite. (Photo by Dan Hamilton-USA TODAY Sports)

Maria was always there putting out fires when needed. She was doctor, nurse, accountant, teacher and confidant to whichever child needed her that day. She’d wake up early each morning before heading off to her job at a bank at 6 a.m. and make dinner so that Natasha and P.K. would have something warm to eat when they arrived home from school — greek salads, lasagna, Shepherd’s Pie, chicken fried rice, the whole nine yards.

“We never ate leftovers,” Natasha said. “I don’t even know what that is unless it’s Christmas, Easter or Thanksgiving.”

But while Maria was both doting and a nurturer (“We are her baby cubs and no one is coming close to us,” Natasha said. “She is that protector.”), she was not someone to be underestimated.

“She wouldn’t put up with most stuff,” Malcolm said. “She wasn’t a pushover.”

She had a few non-negotiable rules, one of which her children still groan about to this day — they couldn’t leave the house without clean shoes. When Maria was in the army, her major insisted on seeing his reflection in her shoes, and this was something she carried over to her own home.

“Oh man,” P.K. says with a laugh. “To this day, she always looks at my shoes first.”

She was also emphatic about guiding her children to find what they love and pursue that passion with vigor. She wanted her kids to feel emboldened to chase after what they wanted with a singular focus.

Her message?

“You can’t do ten things. Do that one thing and master it. Don’t try to do 20 things and be the master of nothing.”

Maria was a budding track athlete back home in Montserrat, where summer sports were king. She continued her sprinting career in high school in Canada where she said she once beat Angella Issajenko (who went on to earn a silver medal in the 1984 Olympics for Canada) and was recruited by renowned coach Charlie Francis to join the Scarborough running club. She had little interest in Francis’ overtures. Maria thought of it as fun, but had little desire to take her athletic career beyond that.

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Regardless, athletics came easily to Maria, so it’s no huge surprise that her kids showed an eagerness and aptitude for sports — P.K., Malcolm and Jordan for hockey, and Natassia and Natasha for basketball (Natassia played in university; Natasha pursued a career in visual arts).

P.K. was always a good skater — something his parents recognized at an early age. He learned the game easily and excelled at an early age, impressing power skating coaches with his smooth skating and others with a slapshot that, at age five, was already well-honed. Once he reached the age of 13, approaching the Triple-A ranks, Maria sat him down to gauge just how serious he was about the sport. Taking his hockey training to the next level would require the family to sacrifice a great deal financially, so Maria wanted to interpret his intentions.

Do you want to play hockey professionally? Or just for fun? Because from here on out, Dad and I need to provide a lot of funds to keep you here.

By now, it’s obvious what Subban chose. Some 16 years later, he is the face of the Nashville Predators franchise (following a trade from the Montreal Canadiens in 2016), and boasts a Norris Trophy (2013), an Olympic Gold Medal and several All-Star nods. But Maria will correct anyone that suggests P.K. prospered because of some preternatural gift. His success, she said, is all attributed to his hard work — hours playing shinny at night, practicing his shot, continuing to fine-tune his skating.

“The more you practice, the better you become. I’m not going to say he’s a special hockey player. If he didn’t work hard enough (he wouldn’t be where he is),” she said. “People think he’s gifted; he’s not. He works hard at everything he does. Every trophy he’s ever been awarded, he worked hard for. He never took anything for granted.”

Jordan, the youngest of the five, is now 23 years old. Like P.K., Malcolm also began as a defenseman (Maria said he was actually a better skater than P.K., “very smooth, very quiet”) but kept gravitating toward playing goal. His parents weren’t thrilled, particularly at the exorbitant costs of goaltending gear, but eventually they relented when he remained adamant. “Whatever my kids wanted to do. I let them do it,” said Maria.

Malcolm is quieter in nature, a born introvert, whereas younger brother Jordan is a bit more like his older brother, a go-getter who works hard and is currently playing in the AHL where he has two goals and 11 points for the Marlies.

Maria has told both Malcolm and Jordan that the difference from where they are now and where they want to be is simply hard work. She says they’ve got a healthy perspective on that and don’t dabble in comparing themselves too much to P.K.

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“They all have their own style and their own way,” Maria said. “They’re excited about their big brother, but we shaped them to be their own person, and want to be successful.”

And while P.K. may be Maria’s most famous offspring, her mother’s pride doesn’t discriminate among her five children, all of whom have followed separate paths into adulthood. And she doesn’t favor her sons, just because of their athletic achievements and lucrative careers.

When Natasha decided to pursue her interest in the visual arts, her mom was wholly supportive. Natasha gained entry into a prestigious — albeit expensive —  satellite art program in Florence, Italy through the Ontario College of Arts and Design.

She was hesitant to apply, because she knew the expense it would incur and that she was far from flush with cash. Regardless, Maria encouraged Natasha to pursue the opportunity, pulling money out of her own savings account to pay for the first installment of her studies overseas.

“It was really my mom who enabled me to get there,” said Natasha.

P. K. Subban and Lindsey Vonn at a movie premier in the summer. Subban, encouraged by his mom, has long embraced using his platform beyond hockey. (Photo by Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)

If it was Maria’s encouragement that was vital toward her children reaching their goals, it was also her guidance that has helped them make an impact with their platform. And P.K., who has his own series with NBC Sports, the recently-released “PK Project,” has certainly done the very most to capitalize on his.

P.K. has what some find to be a polarizing personality but few can argue the sincerity of his devoted philanthropic efforts, like the $10 million pledge he made to the Montreal Children’s Hospital in 2015. Maria could have predicted this from an early age even before life experiences like a trip to the earthquake-ravened Haiti shaped his worldview.

As a kid, P.K. would often come home from school starving, perplexing his mom. When she’d ask why he was famished, he’d sheepishly admit he had given his lunch away to other kids who had nothing to eat. She’d give him lunch money only to see it disappear so quickly, knowing the likely culprit; it would have been more aggravating had Maria not understood the motivation behind it.

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“He was always a very giving person,” Maria said.

But P.K.’s magnetic personality and willingness to use his platform has prompted some of the old hockey establishment conformists bristle. He doesn’t slink away from the spotlight, but rather embraces it.

Do people hold that against Subban?

“Even if they did, he wouldn’t care,” Maria said. “He doesn’t care … he wants to be who he is and that’s who he is. He’s not going to change himself. That’s not him. P.K. does things because that’s who he is. The game has to adapt to him.”

Beyond P.K.’s personality and philanthropy, his penchant for dressing with flair has also become one of his calling cards; he is a collaborator for a suiting line Canadian retailer RW&CO. Maria will take credit for that fashion sense — an homage to her own grandmother, whose motto used to be: If you can’t look good when leaving the house, don’t bother. This was no laughing matter. Malcolm emerged one morning with a pair of trendy Dickies-brand pants that his mom didn’t like. She let him wear the pants to school, but not before ripping the tags off the pants entirely.

Maria’s style may be a bit more subdued than her son’s — she doesn’t particularly like wearing fur, for one — but she gravitates toward “beautiful, lovely things” and cites Liz Claiborne as her favorite designer. She takes pride in how her son dresses and encourages more players to do the same.

“Hockey players should damn well dress and look good,” Maria said. “They’re making enough money.”

There has also been speculation that the criticism directed toward Subban — whether it be for his demeanor, sense of flair, etc — is heightened because he is one of the few black players in a league with very little cultural diversity. Maria said her children were not immune to racial taunts and abusive language, but that she taught them to identify what she felt to be the true root behind that vitriol.

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They’re going to call you names and make it look like racism, Maria would tell her kids. But nobody says a thing about a player who is just average. Recognize why they are singling you out, she’d tell them.

“It’s jealousy because you’re better,” she said.

With her kids, Maria always reinforced the idea that they shouldn’t aim to be like anyone else, but rather distinctly themselves. That is what makes Maria feel best about watching all of her kids now.

It’s not the highlight-reel goals or saves, or the fame or even the financial security.

“What makes me proud is they’re doing what they love to do,” she said. “They’re not doing it because they were told to, it’s what they chose.”

And as each kid has made their way into adulthood, they’ve all taken their own bits of wisdom and advice from their mother. Ask them what they have come to appreciate the most and there are indeed individual differences.

Natassia and Natasha, both of whom have children of their own, have co-opted many of the values they learned from their mother when it comes to rearing their own kids.

Malcolm marvels at her resilience — how she turned a difficult juncture in her own childhood into something that has shaped the way she raised her own children.

“She wants to give us the love that she didn’t have (after her parents passed away) and that’s just be the best parent she could be could be. We couldn’t ask for more,” Malcolm said.

“I couldn’t imagine going to a new country at a young age, especially after losing both parents at a young age and starting a brand new life for yourself. It’s not easy, but mental toughness was one of things she instilled in us. She’s incredibly strong and what she did nothing short of amazing,”

P.K. said that his mom has always emboldened his individuality, allowing him to explore what that meant without meddling and micro-managing like a typical stage parent. Having matured and transitioned into adulthood, that’s what he thinks he loves most about both of his parents.

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“They know when to let go,” P.K. said of his parents. “They never tried to shelter me. They never tried to lock me down. They’ve allowed me to mold into my own person and shape my own life, develop my business and my career on my own. They support me and they’ll be there when they need to be (and that’s) the sign of a great parent.”

For Jordan, she has set an example of the type of person he’d like to be.

“My mom is very caring, very passionate, very loving and she’s everything we could hope for in a mom and a best friend,” Jordan said. “The best way I can say it is: If I can grow older and become half the person she was, I know once I move on, people will remember me as a pretty good person.”

(Main photo by George Pimentel/WireImage)

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